The only way out was death, or so I thought.
My addiction to prescription opiates started back in 2001. After I got sick, my addiction ran my life for the next 15 years.
It was an insane ride. By the end, I lost my wife of 23 years, my children, my home, my job, my vehicles, and most importantly, my life. The progression of this disease is astronomical.
I used to take one pill at a time a few times a day. However, my illness worsened. By the end, I was taking 10 pills at a time and anywhere from 50-100 pills a day. My addiction grew to over 1,000 pills per month. I would suck on fentanyl patches, eating a 100 mcg patch in less than 8 hours.
I looked in the mirror and saw a 40-year-old ‘junkie’. I was wrong! I was a sick person, and God doesn’t make junk! I finally got so tired of waking up every single day to do the same thing over and over knowing I’d get the same result. My addiction was insanity at its peak.
The only way out was death, or so I thought. My anger with God grew by the day. I used to wake up every morning and curse him because I’d begged for death the night before. Thankfully, He had bigger plans for me!
On March 16, 2016, I swallowed 20 pills and walked into rehab. It was the best decision of my life! I spent the next 44 days learning how to deal with life on life’s terms, how to be mindful, how to deal with situations, and more. I owe my life to those people that cared enough for me to help save my life. I will be forever grateful.
My life after 2 1/2 years in remission is more than I could have ever dreamed of. I have a fantastic girlfriend, a relationship with my children, a job, a car, and a house. Most of all, I feel the respect for myself and my fellow people in recovery. I give back as much as I can and enjoy paying it forward.
All people can do this, but you must give it your everything. Live, laugh, and love!